Insomnia

Can't sleep again, and i'm sure it's not becuz of the caffeine.

Congrats

I almost bursted into tears when you told me you are accepted by U. of Leicester. You know what it means?
Finally you can compensate me for the promise you broke, that you would visit me while i was in Austria. ;-)

But that's not the only reason you know. It's like I'm gonna have a family here, comprised by good old friends. After 8 years knowing each other, yes, we are as close as relatives. Somehow I feel i'm even closer to old friends than my own family members. I will know whom to call, whom to weep and tell my loneliness, and most importantly I AM NOT ALONE.

And now finally i start to have some fantasies for my future graduate school life in a cold wet country. :) :)

Erinnerung

Zwei Jahre schon vorbei, und jetzt wunsche ich noch mal Linz besuchen. Was habe ich damals gemacht, und was habe ich dort verlassen? Ich kann sogar nicht erzählen, ob ich diese Stadt liebe. Viele entäuschten Tagen habe ich dort verbracht, also auch viele schönen..... Weißt jemand, dass am Ecke der 12en Stocke des Raab Heim kann man so schönen Sternen gucken?

Jetzt kann ich kaum irgendetwas sehen, weder die Zukunft noch den Mut.

Was vorbei ist wahrscheinlich nicht die Erinnerung, sondern meine Jungend, und alle Deutsch Kenntnis dass ich verlernt habe.

Perhaps Love

This song somehow clings to my head this few days..

(Placido Domingo)
Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

(John Denver)
Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

(Placido Domingo)
Oh, Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel

(John Denver)
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel

(Placido Domingo)
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know

(John starts joined by Placido)
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

(Placido Domingo)
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go

(John Denver)
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know

(John starts joined by Placido)
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Noch 6 Monate oder bereits 30 Monate

Jänner ist hier.

Also andere Monate ist vorbei. Keine Lustige, und das Leben so schlecht wie immer. Das Wetter ist auch schlimm, so wie Herr Lohmann gesagt hat:

"Ich denke dass es auch keine Wetter in Taipei gibt. Es ist weder zu heiß oder zu kalt. Oder es regnet, oder alles kommt zusammen"

Jetzt es regnet, und kalt.

23 Years Old, Restless

Another year has gone by, yet not having any particular feeling. As the age grows, birthday seems less and less important and easily forgotten. A sweetie cake is a must, even it's me who has to pay it.

Talked with Yi-jye tonight, remembering the icy 21 birthday, half of which dedicated to the hospital in Linz. I've always thought that I have got rid of the so-called post-erasmus syndrome, cuz yeah, life gotta move on. It's easy to opress oneself. Close the eyes, shut the ears, clench the jaw and face the truth.

But it's the joy of drifting that keep one restless, the sudden surprise of strangeness and the stimulation of cultural shock. Fingers tapping on the map, and one pick randomly the next destination. One starts to feel bored in a fixed place, one starts to hate the unchallenging routine.

So that's how I know I never got out of post-erasmus syndrome ever. Becuz one learned to fly.

During these years I gradually learned to follow the destiny. And this time I believe i heard it, telling me the turning point is just in front. All one needs is to grab the chance, spread the wing and -- fly.

And that's gonna be, here I come again, europe, and my 23.

Distant Lights

"Dear Angeline

We have carefully assessed your application and are pleased to offer you a place on the 2008 MSc Accounting and Finance programme. We receive over 800 applications for this programme for around 40-60 places so congratulations on your success- we are delighted to welcome you to Manchester Business School."


Guess i finally see the distant lights shining... after such a long, long time.

Dream

Now i finally understand how important dreams are.

The job was too boring recently so i kept weaving dreams. I've got plenty of time weaving a life for the next 3-5 years.

"just clench your jaw till you frown,
just dont let go or you may drown"

The inevictable evil in the life

I hate my job.

Loss of freedom is not what i mourn, since i earn the freedom in terms of wealth. The loss of being a complete person is what i grief.

The abyss of hatred hidden under the sweet mask, and the feeling of superiority embedded in silence. Those composed my daily life, and i cannot stop despising myself for being such a hypocrite.

To hypnotize oneself is always easy, to wake up is not.

Truth

The truth is, the truth is always cruel.

I hate all the excuses. We have already thousands of shit in front of us, and what i need least are the excuses and the bad attitude.

Growing up means -- at least for me -- being responsible for oneself AND his loved ones.

2500 euro a child in spain!

Zapatero: "Cada familia recibirá 2.500 euros por cada hijo que nazca a partir de hoy"
http://www.20minutos.es/noticia/254922/0/debate/estado/nacion/

Every family will receive 2500 euro for every newborn child from 3rd July!

Good job Zapatero! Now i'm seriously considering giving birth to some kids in spain and earn my graduate school tuition...
Maybe 10 children would be enough?

So Nervous

David is coming to Taiwan!

so another 6 months have passed. So unreal, but somehow so true. Can't believe we've made it again. 6 months and 6 months, hope and disillusion. The emotion changes 3 times a day.

But finally we've proved ourselves unbeatable for another season.

Can't believe the flat image in the screen will soon become concrete again, and the words will jump beyond the screen and transfer into voices. The air warmed, and the eyes lit.

I'd rather trust it's not only pure luck, but our persistance and pride carries us on and on. There will be no distance in the heart, neither here nor there.

Here comes the summer!

Summer = The beach, that's the ultimate rule.

I love the sea. We're so much connected with the sea. :-)

Finished?

I've finished my degree?

Such a strange feeling... it's not only another exam finished, another semester finished, but... school life finished! Finally i lose every privilege as a student, especially all kinds of discount. I lose also the privilege to enjoy an empty cinema, empty restaurant, and empty shopping center... yeah it has all finished.

Dont feel so sad though. Actually I cant wait to go to work. Work means money, mmmmmoney. One day when i earned enough money, i will appear again in europe, Taking 1 beer and lying in the lovely spanish sunshine, you know, as old time. I need money desperately. Money is not everything, yet everything needs money.

Anyway, there's a summer in front of me. I'm gonna leave behind all my anxiety and walk through the streets with 37 degrees. After all, it's my last summer walking around in shorts and slippers, y no hay nada como la noche de verano.

Friends

Sometimes I feel the time can stop forever when we are together, drinking some beer and talking nonsense. How i love these boys! In some years, they might become professors, accountants, or CFO of the leading companies....But in my mind, they're always the crazy boys and loyal friends!

Distant Lights

I'm getting more and more sentimental, uhhhhh i hate it.

Saw a swiss film the other day, "Vitus." Quite a nice one, and i finally understand why ppl said Swiss doesnt speak german. They actually speak SWISS GERMAN (yeah imdb.com said so too, so funny to see it) It's like german pronounced in italian with french vocabularies. Yeah, maybe it's a excuse for not understanding the german dialogue.

I like german films. Guess that's one of the reason i learn german, or opposite. Just as the german personality, german films hardly show the humor as spanish or italian films, nor are they as romantic as the french ones. But German has the imcaparable talents dealing with social phenomena, inner struggle, and reality. Once again, it might be the problem of taiwanese film companies, who only import these kinds of german film. As I recalled, even the most heart-warming ones consist of some imperfect pieces of life. Well, das Leben ist einfach so. C'est la vie. Anyway they are absolutely very nice.

Distant Lights (Lichter) 2003 --

a film from Hans-Christian Schmid. This movie was shown in the Taiwan film festival 2004, and never in regular cinema. I wonder if it was ever shown outside every film festival worldwide. So difficult to find the DVD. Frankfurt an Oder. 2 hrs train ride to berlin, 30 minutes to Poland. The river Oder borders this city from Poland. On the opposite sides of rivers. Stories and stories happening. People from the east trying to cross the river to get the "promised land." However on supposed wonderland, umployement has roared through the city. All the people have, or once had, DREAMS. It can be as big as a wonderful life in Berlin, it can be as small as, a new dress for the daughter's communion. 5 stories and nearly 20 chracters weaved a harmonious if not somehow sad symphony. So touched.

Madriz

我現在發現我很想念馬德里，是想念到很誇張的那種地步。
也許短短的七天，還來不及學會去討厭這個城市吧。

Madrid/
Pereza

Bajando por donde los garitos,
dejándome caer por la cuesta abajo.
He estado tan solito
hasta que te he encontrado.

Tocando en tu telefonillo,
me dices que aun te queda para un rato.
Tómate tu tiempo, aún no ha anochecido,
yo te espero en Casa Paco.

Y qué gusto da estar enamorado
y pasear contigo del brazo.
Traigo rosas rojas para ti,
eres mi rincón favorito de Madrid.

Bebiendo y charlando
riendo y bailando,
bailando y bailando, va pasando el tiempo
no hay nada como las noches de verano,
no hay nada como las ganas que te tengo.

Noches de Siroco, terracita Antón Martín,
y ese bar de Tirso que te gusta tanto a ti,
por la espina dorsal de la gran vía
derrapa una sirena de la policía

Y qué gusto da estar enamorado
y pasear contigo del brazo.
Traigo rosas rojas para ti,
eres mi rincón favorito de Madrid.

Mi piel necesita tu piel,
mi boca necesita tu boca,
dame de beber.
Y desnuditos y ya en tu cama,
luz de farolas tras las persianas,
vuelvo a la vida cuando me tocas,
nace una estrella nueva en Atocha.
Estoy loco por ti,
eres mi ricón favorito de Madrid

Love Hurts

True love hurts. That's what i feel as several friends encountered relationship problem recently.

Why two ppl love each other so much, but they cant be together? The reality is so cruel……
Why ppl have to suffer so much for love?

Liebe fragt nicht... Liebe ist!

Para la mejor chica: Me doló tanto mi corazon despues de leer tu carta. Es triste imaginar tu sin sonrisa. Como estoy lejo solo puedo escribirte, darte "ciber abrazos" Pero espero que puedes volver a ser feliz....

So the time passed like this

Talking with the friend currently being Erasmus in Ireland, I suddenly found that the Erasmus student of 2006 is also coming back! How time has flied! I still remember freshly when I stepped into Linz Airport, as well as how I said goodbye to Erasmus life from Madrid airport.

Within an hour, my friend and i have got his summer trip and tickets planned. He told me “you are really expert in traveling”, exactly the same sentence he told me last time. I sighed.

The reality can bring people down, but it can never cease one’s desire to fly. Europe, holiday, traveling… this has long become some memories in the bottom of the heart. I tried not to remember it, deleted all the emails from airlines and travel websites. But even doing so I cannot tie myself on the ground, or stop desiring. I still dream, one after another, broken or complete.

At the age of 22, can I still have a right to dream?

The job hunting was not going well these few weeks. The company focused on my lack of working experience. How the heck did I have time? Well, I could do it in summer, but rather I chose to spend them in Europe. After all, the lack of internship would only bug me in the very first job in my life, but the memories of more than 10 european countries will stay in my heart forever, and not a single internship experience can surpass it, no matter how good it does to my interviews. The summer of 2005, instead of internship in Taiwan, the blue sky in Portugal and the endless sea of southern Spain occupied my life. I never regret. I can work many years after, but maybe not again lying a whole week at the beach of Los Caños de Meca. And see the blue sky above, so broad and so clear.

Some thoughts over Virginia Tech massacre...

If US government can save the stupidity of opening up every suitcase in the airports, and use that resource to investigate the gun abuse in its own land, how many more lives can actually be saved? How many REAL "weapon of mass destruction" can be found?