Der Himmel über Berlin

I really wanna write something more complete but I am too tired to do so. So for the time being I just briefly record this -- at this moment I am really happy. It is some kind of satisfaction and tranquility that have been lost for a long time, so long that I have thought that it would be lost forever. Yet I found it here.

Die Sonne lacht so schadenfroh

Been pretty depressed lately. The idling hours along the days have become silent pressure, and I have become speechless. Job seeking kept haunting me down the way. Seems that nothing can really cheered me up. As if sharing my thoughts, the city is growing even more chaotic as summer unfolds. The rumours, uncertainty, and anxiety have penetrating the life. We are at war, yet the enemy remains a vague capture in the TV news, so-called crisis, labour reform and VAT raise. Everyone is burnt, either physically by the late-June Sun or psychologically by the economical torture.

So today was another hot day. The all-mighty metro Madrid has been on strike for the second day. Hence taxi drivers are happy, buses overloaded, and Madrileños, always running around the clock, were distressed. It was today, in a cool café near Tribunal, my desire to move to Germany is aroused. By the words of a girlfriend who is enjoy her peaceful new life in Köln, by the same distress we shared before, and by the sheer hope we were both seeking.

Really?

Have struggled so much to settle in Madrid, yet when I’m really settled, most of my friends left, one after another, either to England, Germany or even further – leaving me guarding this beautiful, charming, yet sad city.

And is it time to leave? Will I find another place in another corner of the world? Do I still remember my German? Life is more complicated than order ein Großes I believe.

Yet there’s no answer. Registered in the German class for the coming semester, I hope I could find out how life is gonna lead me through. Be it here or there.

Comentario de la película “New York, I Love You”

Ayer vio la película “New York, I love you”. Es una repuesta a la película “Paris, Ja T’aime” que salí hace poco años. El productor es la misma persona, Emmanuel Benbihy. Pero los directores cambiaron, y por su puesto también el lugar de robar.

La película principalmente concentar en las historias romanticas occurieron en Nueva York. Según la misma forma de la version Paris, muchos directores famosos eran invitado a presentar sus observaciones sobre el amor en la ciudad de Nueva York. La lista incluye unos de mi favoritos, como Fatih Akin de Turquia, Shunji Iwai de Japón, y Mira Nair de India. También esta es el debut de Natalie Portman como una directora. Aunque los directores no son tan famoso que los de la versión Paris, creo que también representan una generación joven y genre diferentes. Antes de ver la película, no podía imaginar como presentaria sus observaciones sobre esta ciudad. Sobre todo unos de ellos, como Shunji Iwai, nunca había robado fuera de su cultura y países. Sin embargo, como la ciudad, el resultado de varios puntos de vista se mezclaron y funcionaron bien.

Las historias había que representar varios barrios de la ciudad. Pero me parece esta película no esta tan organizada como la versión anterior. No como en Paris, los barrios de Nueva York no se divide muy claro. Por eso las historias no son individuales, sino se puso alguna conneciones entre cada parte. Pero creo que no estaba buen hecho, así que algunas transicíones eran poco abruptos. También se rompió la coherencia. Además, mientras esta ciudad tiene razas tan divertidas y culturas tan ricas, la película solo representó una parte muy pequeña. Los americanos africanos y los latinos también forman una gran parte de la populación y la cultura en Nueva York. Sin Embargo, ellos casi no existen en esta película.

En resumen, aunque la película no es tan perfecto hecho como “Paris, je t’aime”, todavia la recomiendo. Creo que es una buen oportunidad para conocer la ciudad y también varios estilos de ese directores. Y sobre todo, como se deifinieron el concepto del “amor”.

Missing London

Missing London. Wanna get my hair cut, buy the carpet in camden and stay together with all the buddies.

So it's time to say goodbye again?

By chance I went back to my old blog again and suddenly discovered a comment left back few months ago:

Hola Angeline

Saludos desde un tejado bajo la luna, en Praga.
No sé muy bien cómo llegué a tu blog. Creo que andaba buscando
"syndrome post erasmus" en google.
He empezado a leerte ya con cierta sensación de que quizás el
destino me había traído hasta aquí. Cada uno de tus posts me ha
empujado a leer el siguiente, hasta que los he leído todos.
Te agradezco el viaje, me he sentido identificado con muchos de
tus pensamientos. Creo que de conocernos, nos entenderíamos sin
necesidad de hablar.
Me has recordado a alguien que yo fui; alguien que trato de
volver a ser con todo el empeño de mi corazón. Yo también fui
extranjero en mi tierra, y en mi fuga cruzé Europa asomado a la
ventana de los trenes, y también me llevaron mis alas a vivír
por un tiempo en Manchester. Ahora el Sistema me ha alcanzado,
pero dentro de mí sigue viva un alma que planea siempre la
próxima fuga.

It really provoked my emotion.

Moving to Manchester is just like yesterday, and all of sudden one year has passed. Yet I hardly have any special feeling towards this city, neither my likely farewell to here. Even though I appreciated and enjoyed the simple life i've got here. But as I told my counsellor "I dont feel attached to here" (Perhaps becuz i spent 1/4 of the time in spain, i admit). I've got friends, and generally a much more lively city than Linz. I've got my favorite bar and cafe, routine shopping track, etc. Nonetheless somehow I feel like I'm a lone soul roaming in the city. I stayed with all the international students who themselves are passersby... and to the british, yes i am a passerby. Though for some months I really tried to get a job and stay here....

Yes i do realize this is a master year not an erasmus year, so luckily i shouldnt have any post-master syndrome (dissertation? not again PLEASE!). At least not like the post-erasmus syndrome that is haunting me for years even until now. Maybe my dissatisfaction is resulted from my continuos pursuit for a life "comparable" to my erasmus year, or to be more precise, the pursuit for a younger, more passionate self at the age of 20?

Should I wake up and start up a new life? Seemingly? Madrid in October? The third new country since 2005? Hello??

Everything seems so familiar. Here we go, life in madrid 101. Hopefully I would get my visa successfully, and not biting my tongue when i try to speak spanish.

The New 7th Storey Hotel

http://www.nsshotel.com/

新七層樓酒店，新加坡的歷史建築之一，也是07年秋天我和David去新加坡的旅館。價錢我已經忘了，總之是個便宜又大碗的地方，至少在新加坡這高不可攀的城市。

在1950年代，這是新加坡最高的摩天大樓，在五十幾年後，只有那個人工開關門的電梯勉強可以看出他的歷史風華。電梯口總是站著一位穿花襯衫的阿伯，哪一樓呼叫了電梯，他就費力的拉上鐵柵欄門操作電梯往上往下。

這電梯正是我最怕的典型，大概是小時候被disney的恐怖電梯遊樂設施嚇到，所有老舊一點的電梯我是一律不敢搭。儘管如此，衝著這摩登城市裡的復古情趣還是硬著頭皮走進去。花襯衫的阿伯儘管挑著眉看著我這怕死鬼，還是咖啦咖啦的拉上門把我送下樓。

這就是新加坡的另一面，出了orchard road和centre以後的另一個角落，悶熱、復古和穿著花襯衫的親切阿伯。我喜歡這個位在市中心邊緣的小旅館，走出門外五百公尺就是bugis的大市場，還有更遠那端的小印度，還有小阿拉伯區。

最近掉了一條珍愛的圍巾，就是在小阿拉伯街上買的，小小的步行街上滿滿的圍巾店。太陽下山店關門後，我和David坐在騎樓底下喝好貴的啤酒，新加坡的娛樂都很奢侈。但比起市中心克拉克碼頭邊震天響的音樂和滿地的澳洲肥婆，我更喜歡在沒有人的阿拉伯街上，迎著赤道難得的涼風喝一杯酒。

去新加坡永遠是那幾個行程：逛逛街、去文華酒店吃海南雞飯，買肉乾，去克拉克碼頭吃貴死人不償命的餐廳。這次住了新酒店，反而看到新加坡不是那樣張牙舞爪的一面。我喜歡的大排檔，想坑我錢的印尼餐廳，亮片閃閃的紗麗布料。

想著九月回家轉機的時候再經過新加坡的話，就在七層樓再住一晚吧！沒想到連上網站的預約頁面，卻顯示著土地已被新加坡政府徵收要改建，旅館也從此歇業。

我想這就是為什麼我無法喜歡新加坡的地方，一些可愛的角落，最終都會被強奪成為摩登霸氣的現代都市，七層樓是這樣，新加坡河邊是這樣。我想起以前念過回憶錄裡新加坡蛻變的過程，似乎都是這樣。

不知道bugis 這裡會變成怎麼樣，更多的玻璃帷幕大樓？還是像鳥籠一樣節比鱗次的公屋？

不管怎麼樣我都會很懷念七層樓酒店，古老的電梯和花襯衫的阿伯。2007年初秋的新加坡回憶。

Happy 30 for David!

As said, the best is yet to come!

Visa-free access for Taiwanese visitors to the UK from 3 March 2009

I don't know what the majority of ppl think upon reading this headline. For me, I almost bursted into tears. From Austria, Czech, Slovakia, Poland, UK, USA to Spain, the story of my visa application can be aggregated into a long novel. I have literally "begged" the officials of this countries, one way or another, to give me a chance to get access to these countries. If one has never been treated like "dodgy people who try to invade the country", one would never understand how bad this feeling is.

You might ask -- then why don't you just refuse to go to these countries who regard you with contempt? Then the truth is -- I will never be able to study in another country, see the world, and meet all the people who are currently reading this blog.

Every now and then I hate my own country for being such a loser in international politics that it cannot even protect its citizen from insult.

Last week I have been just insulted by Spanish Embassy. Despite the extraordinary amount they charge on reservation line (approx. 1,5 pound per minute and it lasts for 15 minutes), the attitude of the officers is the most disgusting. "How could you get a visa for 6 months last time??" The officer questioned me with suspecting look in his eyes. Because I am a honest person who respects the immigration law and thus was entrusted into such freedom!

Ironically, if i manage to sneak into the country and stay there 2 years, I will be eligible for legal residence. While if I seek the legal way and ask my boyfriend to invite me, we have to pay a huge fortune of money (100 Euro per invitation letter plus 50 sterling pound visa fee -- still growing!) and he has to own a house, a nice job and a huge fortune in his bank account, let alone all the time we have to spend on all the paperwork.

That is how dirty the real world is. We claim to pursue intercultural communication, international interaction, global village, and whatever big-word one can imagine. Or for a more down-to-earth view, "tourists bring money!" Nonetheless, what the hypocritical bureaucracy has done is just to undermine all these notions.

I still remember that 3 years ago Mu-yun and Yasin were retained in Sevilla airport for not able to show a valid UK visa (as matter of fact, they didnt need one as they were just transferring). At least for UK, such story is becoming history, and I am really, really happy. My friends in Austria and Norway can finally come to visit me without the hassle of submitting all the documents. My family in Taiwan don't have to suffer the time-wasting and anxious interview before coming to see me.

And I shall return as well, one day.

Jenny Holzer - Installation For Bilbao

I WALK IN
I SEE YOU
I WATCH YOU
I SCAN YOU
I WAIT FOR YOU
I TICKLE YOU
I TEASE YOU
I SEARCH YOU
I BREATHE YOU
I TALK
I SMILE
I TOUCH YOUR HAIR
YOU ARE THE ONE
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO ME
YOU ARE MY OWN

I SHOW YOU
I FEEL YOU
I ASK YOU
I DON'T ASK
I DON'T WAIT
I WON'T ASK YOU
I CAN'T TELL YOU
I LIE

I AM CRYING HARD
THERE WAS BLOOD
NO ONE TOLD ME
NO ONE KNEW
MY MOTHER KNOWS

I FORGET YOUR NAME
I DON'T THINK
I BURY MY HEAD
I BURY YOUR HEAD
I BURY YOU

MY FEVER
MY SKIN
I CANNOT BREATHE
I CANNOT EAT
I CANNOT WALK
I AM LOSING TIME
I AM LOSING GROUND
I CANNOT STAND IT

I CRY
I CRY OUT
I BITE
I BITE YOUR LIP
I BREATHE YOUR BREATH

I PULSE
I PRAY
I PRAY ALOUD
I SMELL YOU ON MY SKIN

I SAY THE WORD
I SAY YOUR NAME
I COVER YOU
I SHELTER YOU
I RUN FROM YOU
I SLEEP BESIDE YOU
I SMELL YOU ON MY CLOTHES
I KEEP YOUR CLOTHES

New Year

Goodbye Twingo

Hello Tiida.

Week 1 and so on

I feel like i should somehow speak about the life in Spain & UK. But the thing is like every time i'm abroad, i lose somehow my ability to speak. No matter english has become my working language. Just simply feeling like talking nothing.

UK is not europe. All my european rules are not valid here. Well, somehow they do apply. But more often i just feel like, huh, exotic?

Went out with my flatmate last night. 2 canadians plus 1 americans. Strange is that i havent really know any british. They seem to be just non-existing, at least in the world of postgrads. Had some wonderful tequila shot but i missed my austrian life drastically. The real crazy party and endless drinking.

Might go to germany next month. How much i love and miss germany!!! My german beer and accent stay always alive in my heart!!

Everywhere, Nowhere

I'll translate it when i am in a better mood.
This song is really touching, especially if you are one of those who always on the go.

到處留情/張信哲
Lovers Everywhere/ Jeff Chang

十二號 漫步加州的樂園
遺失一臉幽怨 沒對你再有留戀
十六號 沐浴九州的溫泉
遺失癡心一片 大概我情緒快要復元
手裡行李送檢 再不過重 沒有懷念
自嘲 自傷 自憐 已成過期舊證件
逐點漏低掛念 直到沒法心軟

沒故意 留下底片 捕捉 幸福的片段
這張明信片 路邊一角任選 沒故意 提及辛酸
換取 陌生的掛念 不知你那張臉 留在那間酒店？

二十號 大笨鐘的陰影前 還清所有虧欠 贖過了我那晴天
廿六號 復活島的古跡前 留低貪嗔癡怨 或藉故忘記帶往樂園
禱告 在聖母院 我的聖母沒有復現
默哀 在山手線 旅途太長夜太短
號哭 在彰化縣 害怕被你聽見

沒故意 留下底片 捕捉 幸福的片段
風光明信片 並非寫信地點 沒故意 提及辛酸
換取 陌生的掛念
P.S.再說一遍 前事已經湮遠

20 days to Spain...

I'm very jumpy, and lazy to do everything. Ayyyyyyy

The End of Chen's Era..

20 May, 2008. After 8 long years (feeling even longer for some ppl), Ex-president Chen finally stepped down from his long-held throne. What's awaiting him remain unclear. Whether imprisoned or hidden, certainly that he will not be forgotten. He was once the hero of us all, yet ended up being accused for down-to-the-hell economics, chaotic politics, corruption, and worst of all, a depressed atmosphere in the society. The story sounds pretty familiar and virtually every promising politicians end up this way. Well, we have all passed the age to believe so naiively that politicians will lead us to a happily ever after. But isn't that what we suppose to expect, a strong, promising leader? Or at least someone who is not getting us nowhere?

I personally have supported DPP and Chen ever since very young age. I grew up in an age when KMT was losing power and democracy boomed. In distinction of old "authority" and "dictatorship", DPP first told us that WE, not any politicians, are the true masters of this land. And WE, not any others, can decide our future. And Chen was the star born in that era.

December 1994, Chen became the first Taipei City Mayor elected by the public. He didnt let us down. The Taipei city changed and blossomed as my age grew. We had our first metro line, then second. We had our immense bus network, and even better. You might ask that "During chen's mayorship, you were only like 11~15 years old, how can you feel?" But anyone who has lived in Taipei for those years should have experienced the optimistic feeling filled in the air. People became wealthier and happier. And for the first time, we felt so proud of our own city and country.

With this feeling and expectation we sent Chen into the president house, and then we kept him there for another 4 years. But things changed, always started subtly but somehow accumulated to be inreversible. 

Autumn 2006, when I came back from Austria, the first thing welcoming me is the demonstration against Chen and the corruption of his family. I was so sad. Especially the personwho lead the demonstration was absolutely nothing but an untrustable jerk. Should there be another leader, maybe I would accept the fact more easily. But even I could not deny the fact that the society faced serious recession and chaos (which media helped a lot as well), let alone the scandals, corruption, etc etc etc. I'm lucky to stay in, if not the top, the upper middle class of the society, where poverty and hopelessness is out of imagination. Yet i can still feel the overwhelming gloom. People just somehow lost their hope, and it's really, really sad.

But is it all Chen's fault to blame? Just like someone has said "power is the beginning of decay"? I guess there's too many underlying problems regarding the development of Taiwan. As I dont have a clear head and high interest in politics, i cant really point out what we did right and wrong during these years. Is it that we just selected the biggest target to blame? Is it fair? Have DPP waken up from the sweet success years ago? As a long supporter of DPP, I am really upset by them as well. 8 years ago we based ourselves on the recognition that WE ARE TAIWANESE. 8 years after, the same topic growing ever more extreme, but still we are a lonely country in the world, under the death threat from neighboring countries, losing our business to all the surrounding area. TAIWANESE, a beautiful, adorable name but still not able to be seen or heard in the world. Our patroism became the cheapest product to be speculated by the politicians. And still we are getting nowhere.

8 years. For better or worse it's over. I'm still a supporter for DPP. However i paid my best regards to the new president Ma, as time is creating him into another hero. For me, I dont expect any hero more. I only hope to grab back the pride we once had in our mind to be a member of this small yet strong island. And there will be a day when everyone of us hold our head up high again, to breathe the promising feeling in the air.

Earthquake in 101!!!

Okay, earthquake is no big deal but NOT WHEN I AM ON 67th FLOOR!!!!!!

Becuz of the structure of building, the feeling is not really shaking but SPINNING, FLOATING. At first i thought i had headache again but no it's earthquake!!!!

5 minutes after the earthquake i was going downstair to grab some drinks... but found out astonishedly that all the lifts are shut down for inspection! The central control room announced immediately to calm down the people but i think it just made things worse somehow lol.

No news has been announced yet on the media. Luckily as I'm leaving KPMG, I hope this would be the very first and last one as well... let's pray i dont have to walk 67 stories down to go home....

ahhhhhh

I figure blogger is somehow smarter, but more difficult to use. I've posted an article for 3 times but it kept disappearing. Pretty mad, ahhhhh.

To U (Bank Band with Salyu)

Ever since seeing the film "All about Lily Chou-chou"  was I deeply attracted by the voice of Salyu. How can one depict such a voice... it can be cold and distant, but it can also be warm and soothing. Whichever it is, it's difficult for one to ignore her songs, and they just somehow linger on and on...

I've read some review randomly saying that the "U" in the title actually means "Universe". The lyrics, beautiful and poetic, yet very difficult to be translated. With my mere knowledge of Japanese, I can only follow the existed chinese version translated by others, try to figure out what it really means, and translate again to english. So it's not a very perfect work but whatever... 

To U (Bank Band with Salyu)

池の水が鏡みたいに空の蒼の色を真似てる

The pond imitates the color of blue sky like a mirror
公園に住む水鳥がそれに命を与える
Thus the birds living in the park would be alive

光と影と表と裏

Like light and shadow, in and out

矛盾も無く寄り添ってるよ

Close to each other without contradiction

私達が　こんな風であれたら
I hope we can be similar as well

愛　愛　本当の意味は分からないけど
Love, love, although I never understand the real meaning of love

誰かを通して　何かを通して　想いは繋がっていくのでしょう
"Let's connect ourselves for whatever and through whoever"

遠くにいるあなたに　今　言えるのは　それだけ
This is all I could say to the distant you

悲しい昨日が　涙の向こうで　いつか微笑みに変わったら
All the sorrow and tears might turn to smile one day

人を好きに　もっと好きになれるから　
If you love somebody, just love him more

頑張らなくてもいいよ
No need to oblige yourself

瓦礫の街のきれいな花　健気に咲くその一輪を

A flower blossoms beautifully in the debris-covered street
「枯らす事なく育てていける」と　誰が言い切れる？

Who could ever assure it would continue growing?
それでも　この小さな祈りを　空に向けて放ってみようよ
Nonetheless we can still try to cry out this small wish to the sky

風船のように　色とりどりの祈り

Our pray will then float in the sky like colorful balloons

愛　愛　それは強くて　だけど脆くて
Love, love, so strong yet so fragile

また争いが自然の猛威が　安らげる場所を奪って
Endless fights and natural catastrophe once again take away our peaceful place

眠れずにいるあなたに　言葉など　ただむなしく
All the words become silent for the sleepless you

沈んだ希望が　崩れた夢が　いつの日か過去に変わったら

However, the sunk hope and destroyed dream would finally be gone

今を好きに　もっと好きになれるから
If you love the present, just embrace it tighter

あわてなくてもいいよ
There's no need to panic

愛　愛　本当の意味は分からない
Love, love, though i still have no idea what it means

だけど強くて
It's strong

雨の匂いも風の匂いも　あの頃とは違ってるけど
The feeling of rain and the smell of wind might one day alter

この胸に住むあなたは　今でも教えてくれる
But I know you still live in my heart

悲しい昨日が涙の向こうで　いつか微笑みに変わったら

The sorrow and tears will one day become the smile again
人を好きに　もっと好きになれるから　
If you love somebody now, just try to love him more

頑張らなくてもいいよ
There's no need to oblige
今を好きに　もっと好きになれるから　
If you love the present, just embrace it tighter

あわてなくてもいいよ

There's no need to worry

Insomnia in busy season

Looking forward to a refreshing trip in Thailand. I'm going and nobody can block me.

As summer time approaches finally i found again my long lost passion in everything. I start expecting the life in Manchester, trying to get in contact with all kinds of new/old/distant friend. The world is so big and so small. We are so different yet so similar.

Get up, stand up, I'm gonna wear my floral dress and dark sunglasses again, fuck all the duties, client complaints and deadlines. Really.

I Love April

I love April, together with the tender sunshine and warm breeze, feeling just like the movie setting of Shunji Iwai. Winter has gone and life gets to move on. Again I start wearing skirts to work, yet now it's time to leave.

Congratulations to Evie, looking forward to your wedding in next Spring.

Congratulations to myself, finally gonna get rid of this tower, the highest prison in the world.

Insomnia

Can't sleep again, and i'm sure it's not becuz of the caffeine.