From time to time, I would forget the reason of being here. I would start to reminisce about the past that has long gone, wish today to end soon and tomorrow never come. Whenever I am struck by this vicious loop, more often then not, I would just simply let the depression take over without any defense. But whenever I can collect myself together, I would light a cigarette, turn up my music, mount my bike and ride to the river. I love to sit besides the ever-running Rhein, seeing all the aircraft passing over my head and try to recognise to which company they belongs to, from where they come and to where they go. It is a game I am never tired of.
Sometimes I will miss you immensely as well, for you have been the only person who has taken me to see all those flights departing and landing, from a hidden corner of the city. But you have been long gone and I as well.

Some one has told me back in high school, that if I catch a plane with my hand and swallow it down my stomach, then I can make a wish. I have lost count of how many wishes I have made as a 17-yr-old have actually come true, quite a lot I would say. Though sometimes I would just forget and indulge myself on those which have never materialised.

And a day like this always reminds me for what I am here — for the blue sky, the breeze, for the clearly divided seasons, for the freedom of behaving and speaking as I am,

還有還有，為了夢中的橄欖樹，橄欖樹
不要問我從哪裡來

So many years & 3 countries after..

I am still as lost and depressed as ever, if not a bit more. The difference is that I learned to use some natural/ not so natural therapy to overcome the obstacles. Valerian, swimming and biking, goodbye to the sleepless night and panic attack on long-haul flight.

If I cannot kill the fear and depression down at the bottom of my heart, then just live with it. And learn to accept, as the quote goes --"As frustrated as it might be, a question may never be answered"

Soñé, si te soñé......

23.9.2015 Hong Kong Déjà vu

每次坐在深夜香港機場的貴賓室裡都很焦慮，不知道焦慮的是接下來十幾個小時的黑夜航行還是不想回到現實的抗拒。

在離開香港整整兩年半以後，我終於鼓起勇氣再度踏進香港待個幾天。

踏在熟悉又陌生的街道上，數著地鐵經過的每一站，香港十八個月終於像倒帶一樣從腦袋深處緩緩流出。從離開辦公室最後一天開始：照傳統請客的檀島蛋塔，同期graduates在北園飲茶送行，傍晚在IFC mall海景酒吧請整個team喝酒，老闆恭賀我高就。在那之前的一個月，我在上環的餐廳裡掩不住興奮的和Shuang說我終於找到工作要離職了。

記憶不停倒帶，想起青衣的blue moon，維港的彩虹，紫羅蘭山道上的水塘，soho小小酒吧每週四Spanish meeting的笑聲。吃遍香港大大小小餐廳，走訪每一個小島，下班坐著天星小輪去九龍逛街，每月有個週末要去中環adoption day跟狗玩得不亦樂乎。

中午從IFC海景配自己煮的便當、美心大家樂大快活、賓賓大樓廉價便當、上環的小西餐廳、藝穗會的素食buffet到混進招商局的員工餐廳，還有和Mac一個月一次的午餐約會。小豬每一季都會來被我請客然後上演怡東酒店鬧劇，我坐在這裡接待所有在香港轉機中停的查賬員。

也曾跟同事午餐時間餓著肚子去做瑜伽然後發誓再也不要荼毒自己，辦公室一群女孩一窩蜂團報奧海城的gym（然後去的沒幾個）。Leonardo di Caprio在IFC出現，A&F中環開幕，辦公室的女生輪流溜下去看帥哥。iPhone上市、誠品開了，排隊排到天邊。詫異的看著大陸人拖走了一箱箱奶粉，一箱箱明明就不好吃的曲奇餅，一箱箱iPhone，還有一箱箱香港人被踐踏過的自尊。

南蠻嚼舌的發著廣東話九個音，從被香港人誤會成賓賓、印印、然後終於進步到北姑和加拿大歸國華僑。常常錯亂的看著人不知道該講英文粵語普通話，最終都係摻在一起亂亂講。“我幫你check check吓～”，港式英語總是讓我忍笑忍到內傷。

海邊長廊長長的散步，頭上飛過的飛機，半夜傳來的船笛，藏在屋苑深處的美味甜點。從海欣花園走到公屋群剛好一公里，有力氣的時候就會拿著鞋去慢跑，沒力氣的時候一邊走一邊看著遠方橋上穿梭的東涌綫和機場快綫。我愛極也恨極亡命小巴，“青衣碼頭有落啊唔該”。
在擁擠的街道走著走著，當我終於想起如何從中環IFC走著一個接一個的空中步道，穿梭在一棟又一棟的華廈間，熟稔不落地的一路走到香氣滿溢畢打街的時候，彩色的記憶也逐漸填滿了一年半的時光。從此以後我的香港記憶不再只有半夜睡不著覺瞪著的空白天花板，看不完的醫生治不好的病消失的月經短路的腦袋無盡的焦慮，還有每個在台北飛香港國泰班機上大哭的時候。

我家樓下白髮蒼蒼講話溫和的家庭醫生都退休了呢。

從下榻酒店到機場快綫站的路上，搞笑的計程車司機的跟我隨意地攀談，喜歡住在香港的日子嗎？不喜歡，我回答，香港好好玩，但是真的住下來，壓力好大。

很有哲理的司機回了我：
“其實好多時候，壓力都是自己帶俾自己的。工作、上車買樓，其實都只是生活中好小一部分，可以是重要目標但唔得做focus。不如搵個有錢佬，或叫男人搵多啲錢囉？但是佢有咗錢以後搞不好就去外面搞搞震啦。呢個世界冇咩事係永遠嘅啦，開開心心過好眼前的日子咪得啦！“

住在香港的時候很少拍照，總覺得不知為何失去了構圖的能力。回頭看看那時拍的旅遊照，也多半平淡的不知所云。這次只帶了一顆35mm定焦鏡，卻讓我捕捉到曾經每天擦肩而過卻從未收進相本裡的畫面。

Here you go, my Hong Kong memories

https://picasaweb.google.com/111705916351773854829/HongKongDejaVu

2011年10月，我帶著重感冒昏昏沈沈的飛抵香港，住在銅鑼灣的Serviced Apartment裡。傍晚頭昏腦脹的摸下樓在這家Wellcome一邊買食物一邊拼命打噴嚏。正當我覺得鼻子快要掉下來的時候，前面阿婆回過頭塞給我一包面紙要我好好保重身體。我常常想，龍山寺說我在香港會遇到貴人，的確從下飛機那一刻開始，我真的遇到很多對我很好的人，沒有這些人，恐怕我的香港生活就只有十八天就哭著跑走了，而不是十八個月。

Unwritten Letter

I have been thinking lately. Since when I started to feel completely unable to identify with or fit in to my own country? Since when I have become a banana -- yellow skin and white inside, or to be more precise, fake white? Since when I tried to hide my nationality and only hope people will remember me because of how I am? Am I the same person, am I expressing the same personality when I speak Chinese, English, Spanish and German?

Why did I try to forget on purpose my once at-ease feeling of the city where I grew up? I have been so used to the city, familiar with every side-street and bus route. Even though it has grown out of my reach, there are still places that remained standing after so many years. Places where I have once been lingering, alone or accompanied. Places that I once loved, as much as my favourite bar in Madrid, favourite walking route in London, or my favourite café in Berlin. Oh, I might once even qualified as a Hipster.

Why have I always believed Taiwan is sliding back to developing country downward spiral, grouping and competing only with the like of Thailand and not Singapore? I remembered I could barely hid my disdain when I visited a crowded hospital overflowed with patients, or a traditional neighbourhood GP clinic without state-of-the-art equipment, bright interior design and carefully protected patient privacy.

Maybe it has always been a developing country. Only I have adopted the high living standard of Europe as well as its haughtiness. I looked down to my own birthplace with contempt, as well as the fact and memory that I was once a normal young Taiwanese girl walking down the street. Naiive as she was, entrenched as she was. Eager to see the world while satisfied with simple bliss in life? 

Since when did I started to want to be identified as European of Asian descent/ Asian who has long immigrated to Europe, as opposed to a proud Taiwanese? Is this an auto-protection mechanism to distinct myself from those FOBs, or to distant from the potential attacks from Chinese? Am I believing that I wouldnt be kicked away from my Disneyland if I camouflage myself as a character?

Psychologist once commented that no matter how much a person can change with environment, the innate core value remained the same and can hardly be shaken. The confusion often emerges when the core value conflicts with the acquired belief. Maybe to make life easier I just try to hid the Taiwanese self, or all together, let the original me be buried together with my adolescent memory in a city far without reach.

I wish in this life I, or anyone in the world could discover the magic of human brain, make possible to implant/ extract/ manipulate human memories & emotion. Perhaps that will be the day of my salvation.

Die Lichter blinkt noch

I have been encountering emotional problem for long. Rachel just recommended me to start writing again. I used to have such abundancy of thoughts and words but eventually they just escaped. Perhaps they have transformed into ratios, trends, macroeconomics, etc., stored in the corner of a server within an multinational giant.

Sunshine after rain, and life moves on. 九號公路上不知名鄉村的彩虹。感謝陳若瑜，一陣大哭大笑後才發現自己原來還是有人類感情存在，雖然我從來沒有很相信什麼陽光總在風雨後烏雲上有晴空的說法。不過看到彩虹真是一件很幸福的事情，在車上大聲合唱老掉牙的情歌回憶以前高中做過所有蠢事也是很幸福的事情。一晃眼十幾年就過了，很多事情卻清晰的有如昨日。就像心愛的舊情歌一樣，平時不知塞到頭腦哪裡去，但是前奏一起，所有旋律歌詞悉數浮現腦海中。過往種種如夢一場，沈迷過的偶像一個個消失。但是當我們坐在一張長桌前，面對面苦著臉抱怨的時候，好像從信義路三段到Alphabet district間這時空距離都不曾存在一樣，只是煩惱的不再是彼此暗戀的男孩而是不安焦慮近中年危機，我想這也是一種成長。

祝你開心，下個十年。這輩子我送過自己打的圍巾的人還真不多，讓我重新承諾拾起很久沒碰的釘板毛線，這種說不出的大愛陳小姐你最好要好好記得。

Gee

How blogger has changed. Guess I still need to come back every now and then. Ever since moving to Hong Kong I have lost my ability to write, no matter in English, Spanish or German. Sometimes I passed the day speaking four languages and found myself only lost in translation.

I miss Europe. Want to have a dog. And gee I'm really getting old.

Vergnügungen

von Bertolt Brecht

Der erste Blick aus dem Fenster am Morgen
Das wiedergefundene alte Buch
Begeisterte Gesichter
Schnee, der Wechsel der Jahreszeiten
Die Zeitung
Der Hund
Die Dialektik
Duschen, Schwimmen
Alte Musik
Bequeme Schuhe
Begreifen
Neue Musik
Schreiben, Pflanzen
Reisen
Singen
Freundlich sein

Sleepless in Madrid

I just cannot get myself to sleep and this is driving me mad. Perhaps I don't want Monday to arrive. I hate summer.

One more week

Can't believe my long-expected vacation is really coming. Recently start to appreciate every chance to escape from this city, even its only a short weekend break down to the beach. Tranquility, the word I found last summer in Berlin is again lost. Getting rotten in the city, so bored. The city is bustling but life is so plain and lonely. Should there be the next move? Life is at its most painful when filling the blank on one's CV.

Lassen wir uns einfach dahin fahren. Wird es besser sein?

2010

I have been thinking for long to write down something about this year... after all 2010 is an important year for me. Turning point? Perhaps not, or perhaps there have been too many turning points in my life up to this point and subsequently I myself have been turning and turning until finally lost.

First of all I turned 26 at the end of 2010. Though I take birthday as the most important day in a year hardly do I care much about the numbers of candles on the cake. But this year I am 26, right crossing the threshold of "youth" and "adult". From time to time I have to admit that an urge to succumb to a world of comfort and stability does come up. As well as the thoughts to stop the crazy things like cross-country road trip, sleeping in airport, taking ryanair. But backpacker never dies, only ages, and not even that would kill the Sehnsucht and wonderlust that is embedded in an old backpacker, only the < 26 discount will never be applicable ever again in life.

2010 Summer I was a Berliner for 3 mere weeks. Finally I have the blessing to live in my favourite city in the world, and it was honestly the best summer ever, ever. I had a small flat in Mitte, with bright berliner sun shining through the white curtain, and surrounded by my secret hideaways discovered after years of passing-by. Be it the small italian takeaway with its very friendly owner, or the cafe around the corner serving fresh Berliner Pilsner. I love the Prenzlauer Berg although the whole Schönehauseallee has been basically taken over by summer tourists; I also appreciate the despite-the-glory-name shabby Sonnenalle (Sun avenue in English it is). I love speaking German, even though the vocabulary and phrases have started to fade away from my memory.

And that was the farewell to my drifting youth. And the beginning of the real life, ironically, is still in Madrid, the capital of this Peter Pan’s land. I almost forgot how good the feeling was to have one’s bank account regularly loaded up and credit card balance cleared. I enjoy my new job and the vista from 22nd floor, yet I do feel really lonely and segregated, if not lost as always. After one and a half year residing in Madrid I still cannot cross the huge language barrier lying in front of me. How I miss my Mancunian-speaking life! And how I miss the expressive and chatty self, rather than swallowing my words along with a perplexed smile – maybe it’s finally a signal that my Spanish life is deemed to end, for better or for worse. And it does come to an end – unless something unfortunate happen and I have to look for a new job again.

Yet being sent back to Asia is indeed a fearful thought, even though I am really up being in Spain. But Europe is still the continent I know, I passionately love and where I spent the most splendid years of my youth. I wonder if there would be anything wonderful ahead at the other side of the world that can really talk me into bidding farewell to this beautiful yet frustrating, vibrate yet stubborn, with an old-school charm, land.

Maybe from now on the full price of life finally has to be paid, just as the interrail pass.

Der Himmel über Berlin

I really wanna write something more complete but I am too tired to do so. So for the time being I just briefly record this -- at this moment I am really happy. It is some kind of satisfaction and tranquility that have been lost for a long time, so long that I have thought that it would be lost forever. Yet I found it here.

Die Sonne lacht so schadenfroh

Been pretty depressed lately. The idling hours along the days have become silent pressure, and I have become speechless. Job seeking kept haunting me down the way. Seems that nothing can really cheered me up. As if sharing my thoughts, the city is growing even more chaotic as summer unfolds. The rumours, uncertainty, and anxiety have penetrating the life. We are at war, yet the enemy remains a vague capture in the TV news, so-called crisis, labour reform and VAT raise. Everyone is burnt, either physically by the late-June Sun or psychologically by the economical torture.

So today was another hot day. The all-mighty metro Madrid has been on strike for the second day. Hence taxi drivers are happy, buses overloaded, and Madrileños, always running around the clock, were distressed. It was today, in a cool café near Tribunal, my desire to move to Germany is aroused. By the words of a girlfriend who is enjoy her peaceful new life in Köln, by the same distress we shared before, and by the sheer hope we were both seeking.

Really?

Have struggled so much to settle in Madrid, yet when I’m really settled, most of my friends left, one after another, either to England, Germany or even further – leaving me guarding this beautiful, charming, yet sad city.

And is it time to leave? Will I find another place in another corner of the world? Do I still remember my German? Life is more complicated than order ein Großes I believe.

Yet there’s no answer. Registered in the German class for the coming semester, I hope I could find out how life is gonna lead me through. Be it here or there.

Comentario de la película “New York, I Love You”

Ayer vio la película “New York, I love you”. Es una repuesta a la película “Paris, Ja T’aime” que salí hace poco años. El productor es la misma persona, Emmanuel Benbihy. Pero los directores cambiaron, y por su puesto también el lugar de robar.

La película principalmente concentar en las historias romanticas occurieron en Nueva York. Según la misma forma de la version Paris, muchos directores famosos eran invitado a presentar sus observaciones sobre el amor en la ciudad de Nueva York. La lista incluye unos de mi favoritos, como Fatih Akin de Turquia, Shunji Iwai de Japón, y Mira Nair de India. También esta es el debut de Natalie Portman como una directora. Aunque los directores no son tan famoso que los de la versión Paris, creo que también representan una generación joven y genre diferentes. Antes de ver la película, no podía imaginar como presentaria sus observaciones sobre esta ciudad. Sobre todo unos de ellos, como Shunji Iwai, nunca había robado fuera de su cultura y países. Sin embargo, como la ciudad, el resultado de varios puntos de vista se mezclaron y funcionaron bien.

Las historias había que representar varios barrios de la ciudad. Pero me parece esta película no esta tan organizada como la versión anterior. No como en Paris, los barrios de Nueva York no se divide muy claro. Por eso las historias no son individuales, sino se puso alguna conneciones entre cada parte. Pero creo que no estaba buen hecho, así que algunas transicíones eran poco abruptos. También se rompió la coherencia. Además, mientras esta ciudad tiene razas tan divertidas y culturas tan ricas, la película solo representó una parte muy pequeña. Los americanos africanos y los latinos también forman una gran parte de la populación y la cultura en Nueva York. Sin Embargo, ellos casi no existen en esta película.

En resumen, aunque la película no es tan perfecto hecho como “Paris, je t’aime”, todavia la recomiendo. Creo que es una buen oportunidad para conocer la ciudad y también varios estilos de ese directores. Y sobre todo, como se deifinieron el concepto del “amor”.

Missing London

Missing London. Wanna get my hair cut, buy the carpet in camden and stay together with all the buddies.

So it's time to say goodbye again?

By chance I went back to my old blog again and suddenly discovered a comment left back few months ago:

Hola Angeline

Saludos desde un tejado bajo la luna, en Praga.
No sé muy bien cómo llegué a tu blog. Creo que andaba buscando
"syndrome post erasmus" en google.
He empezado a leerte ya con cierta sensación de que quizás el
destino me había traído hasta aquí. Cada uno de tus posts me ha
empujado a leer el siguiente, hasta que los he leído todos.
Te agradezco el viaje, me he sentido identificado con muchos de
tus pensamientos. Creo que de conocernos, nos entenderíamos sin
necesidad de hablar.
Me has recordado a alguien que yo fui; alguien que trato de
volver a ser con todo el empeño de mi corazón. Yo también fui
extranjero en mi tierra, y en mi fuga cruzé Europa asomado a la
ventana de los trenes, y también me llevaron mis alas a vivír
por un tiempo en Manchester. Ahora el Sistema me ha alcanzado,
pero dentro de mí sigue viva un alma que planea siempre la
próxima fuga.

It really provoked my emotion.

Moving to Manchester is just like yesterday, and all of sudden one year has passed. Yet I hardly have any special feeling towards this city, neither my likely farewell to here. Even though I appreciated and enjoyed the simple life i've got here. But as I told my counsellor "I dont feel attached to here" (Perhaps becuz i spent 1/4 of the time in spain, i admit). I've got friends, and generally a much more lively city than Linz. I've got my favorite bar and cafe, routine shopping track, etc. Nonetheless somehow I feel like I'm a lone soul roaming in the city. I stayed with all the international students who themselves are passersby... and to the british, yes i am a passerby. Though for some months I really tried to get a job and stay here....

Yes i do realize this is a master year not an erasmus year, so luckily i shouldnt have any post-master syndrome (dissertation? not again PLEASE!). At least not like the post-erasmus syndrome that is haunting me for years even until now. Maybe my dissatisfaction is resulted from my continuos pursuit for a life "comparable" to my erasmus year, or to be more precise, the pursuit for a younger, more passionate self at the age of 20?

Should I wake up and start up a new life? Seemingly? Madrid in October? The third new country since 2005? Hello??

Everything seems so familiar. Here we go, life in madrid 101. Hopefully I would get my visa successfully, and not biting my tongue when i try to speak spanish.

The New 7th Storey Hotel

http://www.nsshotel.com/

新七層樓酒店，新加坡的歷史建築之一，也是07年秋天我和David去新加坡的旅館。價錢我已經忘了，總之是個便宜又大碗的地方，至少在新加坡這高不可攀的城市。

在1950年代，這是新加坡最高的摩天大樓，在五十幾年後，只有那個人工開關門的電梯勉強可以看出他的歷史風華。電梯口總是站著一位穿花襯衫的阿伯，哪一樓呼叫了電梯，他就費力的拉上鐵柵欄門操作電梯往上往下。

這電梯正是我最怕的典型，大概是小時候被disney的恐怖電梯遊樂設施嚇到，所有老舊一點的電梯我是一律不敢搭。儘管如此，衝著這摩登城市裡的復古情趣還是硬著頭皮走進去。花襯衫的阿伯儘管挑著眉看著我這怕死鬼，還是咖啦咖啦的拉上門把我送下樓。

這就是新加坡的另一面，出了orchard road和centre以後的另一個角落，悶熱、復古和穿著花襯衫的親切阿伯。我喜歡這個位在市中心邊緣的小旅館，走出門外五百公尺就是bugis的大市場，還有更遠那端的小印度，還有小阿拉伯區。

最近掉了一條珍愛的圍巾，就是在小阿拉伯街上買的，小小的步行街上滿滿的圍巾店。太陽下山店關門後，我和David坐在騎樓底下喝好貴的啤酒，新加坡的娛樂都很奢侈。但比起市中心克拉克碼頭邊震天響的音樂和滿地的澳洲肥婆，我更喜歡在沒有人的阿拉伯街上，迎著赤道難得的涼風喝一杯酒。

去新加坡永遠是那幾個行程：逛逛街、去文華酒店吃海南雞飯，買肉乾，去克拉克碼頭吃貴死人不償命的餐廳。這次住了新酒店，反而看到新加坡不是那樣張牙舞爪的一面。我喜歡的大排檔，想坑我錢的印尼餐廳，亮片閃閃的紗麗布料。

想著九月回家轉機的時候再經過新加坡的話，就在七層樓再住一晚吧！沒想到連上網站的預約頁面，卻顯示著土地已被新加坡政府徵收要改建，旅館也從此歇業。

我想這就是為什麼我無法喜歡新加坡的地方，一些可愛的角落，最終都會被強奪成為摩登霸氣的現代都市，七層樓是這樣，新加坡河邊是這樣。我想起以前念過回憶錄裡新加坡蛻變的過程，似乎都是這樣。

不知道bugis 這裡會變成怎麼樣，更多的玻璃帷幕大樓？還是像鳥籠一樣節比鱗次的公屋？

不管怎麼樣我都會很懷念七層樓酒店，古老的電梯和花襯衫的阿伯。2007年初秋的新加坡回憶。

Happy 30 for David!

As said, the best is yet to come!

Visa-free access for Taiwanese visitors to the UK from 3 March 2009

I don't know what the majority of ppl think upon reading this headline. For me, I almost bursted into tears. From Austria, Czech, Slovakia, Poland, UK, USA to Spain, the story of my visa application can be aggregated into a long novel. I have literally "begged" the officials of this countries, one way or another, to give me a chance to get access to these countries. If one has never been treated like "dodgy people who try to invade the country", one would never understand how bad this feeling is.

You might ask -- then why don't you just refuse to go to these countries who regard you with contempt? Then the truth is -- I will never be able to study in another country, see the world, and meet all the people who are currently reading this blog.

Every now and then I hate my own country for being such a loser in international politics that it cannot even protect its citizen from insult.

Last week I have been just insulted by Spanish Embassy. Despite the extraordinary amount they charge on reservation line (approx. 1,5 pound per minute and it lasts for 15 minutes), the attitude of the officers is the most disgusting. "How could you get a visa for 6 months last time??" The officer questioned me with suspecting look in his eyes. Because I am a honest person who respects the immigration law and thus was entrusted into such freedom!

Ironically, if i manage to sneak into the country and stay there 2 years, I will be eligible for legal residence. While if I seek the legal way and ask my boyfriend to invite me, we have to pay a huge fortune of money (100 Euro per invitation letter plus 50 sterling pound visa fee -- still growing!) and he has to own a house, a nice job and a huge fortune in his bank account, let alone all the time we have to spend on all the paperwork.

That is how dirty the real world is. We claim to pursue intercultural communication, international interaction, global village, and whatever big-word one can imagine. Or for a more down-to-earth view, "tourists bring money!" Nonetheless, what the hypocritical bureaucracy has done is just to undermine all these notions.

I still remember that 3 years ago Mu-yun and Yasin were retained in Sevilla airport for not able to show a valid UK visa (as matter of fact, they didnt need one as they were just transferring). At least for UK, such story is becoming history, and I am really, really happy. My friends in Austria and Norway can finally come to visit me without the hassle of submitting all the documents. My family in Taiwan don't have to suffer the time-wasting and anxious interview before coming to see me.

And I shall return as well, one day.

Jenny Holzer - Installation For Bilbao

I WALK IN
I SEE YOU
I WATCH YOU
I SCAN YOU
I WAIT FOR YOU
I TICKLE YOU
I TEASE YOU
I SEARCH YOU
I BREATHE YOU
I TALK
I SMILE
I TOUCH YOUR HAIR
YOU ARE THE ONE
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO ME
YOU ARE MY OWN

I SHOW YOU
I FEEL YOU
I ASK YOU
I DON'T ASK
I DON'T WAIT
I WON'T ASK YOU
I CAN'T TELL YOU
I LIE

I AM CRYING HARD
THERE WAS BLOOD
NO ONE TOLD ME
NO ONE KNEW
MY MOTHER KNOWS

I FORGET YOUR NAME
I DON'T THINK
I BURY MY HEAD
I BURY YOUR HEAD
I BURY YOU

MY FEVER
MY SKIN
I CANNOT BREATHE
I CANNOT EAT
I CANNOT WALK
I AM LOSING TIME
I AM LOSING GROUND
I CANNOT STAND IT

I CRY
I CRY OUT
I BITE
I BITE YOUR LIP
I BREATHE YOUR BREATH

I PULSE
I PRAY
I PRAY ALOUD
I SMELL YOU ON MY SKIN

I SAY THE WORD
I SAY YOUR NAME
I COVER YOU
I SHELTER YOU
I RUN FROM YOU
I SLEEP BESIDE YOU
I SMELL YOU ON MY CLOTHES
I KEEP YOUR CLOTHES